[Poem]Right Now

It’s been a long time since I’ve written about the light,

It’s been a long time since I’ve started writing about the night,

It’s been a long time since I’ve acknowledged that I was wrong,

It’s been a long time coming, but I know the end is in sight.

I’ve been lost in a dream, in a dream, in a nightmare,

I’ve been too afraid to wake up and find that fear is there.

I’ve been hoping, wishing, praying for a miracle long due,

I’ve been waiting for sudden stirrings to bring me around to care.

Been there done that, life’s experiences overflow.

Been doing my thing, watching this life inside me grow.

Been down and out, unsure if I’ll be able to stand.

Been flying high, not once looking down below.

Content that the currents are finally in my favor,

Content that life is bringing me moments to savor,

Content with being just that little bit unsure,

Content to be relaxing and just soaking up the flavor.

It may not last, but right now is enough.

It may not be perfect, but it’s a diamond in the rough.

It may not be destiny, fate, fortune, or luck,

It may not be good for me, but I know that I am tough.

[Poem]A Thought Process at 1 AM

I’m not trying to pretend

Stick it through

See the end

Of this line, finish out this life

Kill the struggles and the strife

Messages of eternal life

Stray from that hate of mine

Threatening to enclose my heart

Keep those apart

Know where to end and where to start

I don’t flaunt a crazy style I don’t have

Don’t talk in rhymes, faking attitude – “I’m so bad”

I can only be myself

Be influenced but not helped

Along this path of discovery

Recovery, In front of me

I see a journey to a destination

of answers and revelations

obtained only through dedication, education

I know where I am, know where I stand

And sense enough to know to change

But strong enough to stay my hand

[Poem]What?

I have no idea what I am about to write

Is this a story or a poem?

Or is this the story of a poem?

I could write about an emotion

Rant and rave until I’m blue in the face

Experiences and memories and philosophies

But what point am I trying to get across in the end?

In one moment I am completely content

And in the back of my mind I feel that sense of unease

The natural ebbs and flows of life

I feel the ebb is coming

The most I can do is live

Breathe in and out

Oxygen to Carbon dioxide and out

Feel my own brain deteriorate naturally

Feel myself grasping at straws as I race the clock

Yet where is the race?

The clock moves methodically

Equal increments of time between each little line

It wins and it loses

So where is the race?

And one day the gears will stop

And I feel myself getting inspiration

I think I’ll go start another story now.

[Poem]Things Never Said

I want to tell you something

Something that I’m scared to say

I want to show you something

Before this dream fades away

We’ve been friends for so long

And yet I never had the courage to say

That when we were friends for so long

I wanted you to always stay

I wanted you to stay by my side

Even when it hurt to be there

I wanted also to stay by your side

Even when I felt like I couldn’t get air

I know that I hurt you bad

And I’m sorry because I didn’t want you to hurt

I know that I only made you sad

And I’m sorry because I know you ended up for the worst

I always wanted to give you a choice

To stay with me or to go

But I was never strong enough to voice

My true feelings, and now I’ve hurt you so

You say that you don’t regret

Taking that chance to move on

But even though your heart is set

I can’t help but feel like something’s wrong

So everyday I try to speak

And show you how much you’re vital

But I always end up too weak

And it’s ends up becoming a struggle

So I hope you know through me weird ways

Through the imperfections you say you’ve come to love

That I vow to keep you happy always

And vow to be there even when I’m below and you’re above